Soon...

So let me begin by taking you to past thoughts of mine.

After I became a follower of Christ (about 7Th grade) I would spend a great deal of time pondering this thought of "the end." Not just pondering but being completely terrified by it! I knew I was supposed to eagerly await for that day, but I don't think I really understood why. After all, my dream was to finish school, get married and have children! Yes, go figure, I was a typical girl! And in my head I always tried to justify that that was supposed to happen first because these were great desires of mine, nothing else really mattered. I wasn't really a girl that spent time worrying about boys or dating them, but one day I wanted to get married! Because I had this great desire for love and marriage and all of that, I thought there is no way that wasn't happening. I know this sounds like such a girly girly thing to say... but really... I am one! :)With that, please know there were other things that went into the axiety of thinking about the coming of the Lord, partly just not being able to grasp it.

Now let me explain the past year.

The last year or so I have struggled a lot, with where I am now, why I am here and when I can leave. With that I mean my actual physical location. I have wrestled a great deal with why I ever left Nashville, a place I loved to come back to Texas the place I spent the first 18 or so years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family BUT I love Nashville too.

Now let me bring you to current thoughts of mine.

I started praying that the Lord would change my desires to match His, because His plans really are always much sweeter than my own! So here I am in the place I don't want to be(Texas) Yet, it has been such a sweet time with the Lord. Growing up I never really questioned things, I didn't have the desire to rebel authority or any of the such. But I just could not see what the point was in me being here. I started praying for this, realizing that I was here for a purpose I just didn't want it to be so hard. One night when I was reading in Psalm 16, I came across verse 11. The middle part of it says, " in your presence there is fullness of joy." Talk about something that is so clear at that moment! It really was like... okay Lord you are here, I am in your presence, even here in Texas. It really was like a sudden moment of "I will find Joy here because I am right in the middle of your presence!"

okay... so back to the first paragraph...

In this whole God changing my desires to match His, I began to see this sweet picture of eternity with Jesus. Not that the desire to be a wife and mother have been Xed out of my life, not even close! But that eternity with Him is the ultimate desire, the most precious thought.

A song that I greatly love is called Soon, by Brooke Fraser! If you haven't heard it you should probably stop reading this and download it! Here are the words...

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him, I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me
Then my sin erased, my shameful garden
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders round the thrown
At His feet I lay
My grant, my wishing
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied

what a lovely lovely thought! I haven't figured it all out... obviously... or I wouldn't just be blogging about it.

love love love